Chapter twelve- in which God gives me a glimpse of the big picture

I think God knew that I was unraveling with being 7 months pregnant and caring for a 5 month and 23 month old. It was nice having my parents there to help me watch the kids when Justin was at work. I no longer had to worry about cooking meals and doing laundry. Plus, the insurance company ended up giving us a check that was more than it cost to put our house back together. We were able to purchase new carpet, a new kitchen countertop and backsplash, and new area rugs for the bed room and dining room. It was difficult to go back to living with my parents after running my own house now for so long, but we were so blessed. God ended up nesting my house better than I ever could.

We had Nino for eight wonderful weeks. While it was heart-breaking to say goodbye, I knew it was best for Josiah and our baby girl. Three of them (especially with one of them being Nino) would have been impossible. That little boy taught us many lessons that was crucial in preparing our hearts to lose Josiah.

1- There is no shortage of wonderful kids that need loving homes.

2- It is not difficult to fall in love with other children.

3- We can make a difference in the life of a child, even though he or she may be with us for a short amount of time.

4- God will put people in your life for a reason and for a season. His timing. His plan. His purpose. We need to trust that He knows what is for our greatest good and His greatest glory.

5- When I look back on the decision we made to invite Nino into our home, I am extremely grateful we had the opportunity to be in his life. I am not sad. I just feel lucky we were the ones God used to bless him with a safe, loving home. And he blessed us more than he will ever know.

I hope that's the way I will feel about Josiah when God sends him to his forever home. Not sad or remorseful- but happy that I was obediently in his life for the time God called me to be.

And now Nino will be prayed for everyday. Who knows how God is going to intervene when we seek His will for his life? He went to live with his biological father. We still miss him and I think about him often. But I reminisce and smile.

Josiah was still going for visitation every week. His parents were part of a program where they would go to The Family Life Center and take parenting classes along with their kids. It was an all day affair. I hated it. One benefit of this though was that the kids would go on a little school bus to the center, and when they would drop him off I would get to take a peek at Josiah's older brother, David. I would duck underneath the bus's window and pop up and play peek-a-boo with him until the bus driver got Josiah out of his car seat and handed him to me.. He would get a huge smile on his face and let out a big belly laugh.

David was an adorable little boy, and by looking at him, I could see exactly what Josiah would look like in 15 months. He looked strangely familiar. I always thought that it was only because he looked just like Josiah, but there was something more.

One day Justin and I were having a conversation about the people in our licensing classes we took in December 8 months earlier (read chapter 6). We laughed about the annoying woman who would take 15 minutes to answer every single question until even the woman who was teaching the class was rolling her eyes at us. We wondered how the couple was who adopted their niece. And we thought about the nice man who sat across from us who was adopting his grandson. Justin looked at me and asked, "What was Fred's grandson's name he was adopting...do you remember?"

"I think it was David." We both looked at each other, wide eyed. I bit my lip and counted on my fingers how old David would be now. He was 15 months older than Josiah.

Justin called up our case worker, Kristen, who also was the caseworker for Josiah's brother. "Would you be able to tell me the name of Talen's ;o) grandfather?" he asked.

"Fred." she said.

I couldn't believe it! Eight months earlier we were sitting across the table from Josiah's biological grandfather. I don't know why we didn't put the pieces together until now. It was as though God all of a sudden opened our eyes.

We were able to get his number from Kristen and Justin gave him a call. I remember how proud he was of his grandson David and how much he loved him. He must love Josiah just as much and wish he could see him. We were hoping that we could get together with his family so Josiah and David would get to know eachother more.

They were so excited to hear from us, but not as excited as we were! Two weeks before my due date, Fred, his wife Vita, and David came over to my parents house. What two amazing, giving people! We took pictures and talked for hours how blessed we felt to have Josiah in our life. (We were so careful to keep calling him Talen though.) :o) We arranged a time where Josiah would go over to Fred and Vita's house to spend some good quality time with his family.

Fred's sister was the woman who was going to adopt Josiah. If she was anything like Fred, it would definitely lessen the blow of losing him knowing how great he would be taken care of and how much he would be loved.

Justin and I got into foster care to give children a family who didn't have one. As I snapped pictures of Josiah with his grandfather and brother that night, I thought about how this was not a little boy who needed a family. He was already a part of one.

We would not be a family who would be adopting. It was their kind, generous, loving family who were willing to adopt us.