Today was court again. Hello, familiar headache and oh-so-queezy stomach ache. I was the only one to show up in court besides Josiah's parents and lawyers. Josiah's extended family wasn't there like usual. Since Justin couldn't go with me like he always does, my mom came to keep me company in the waiting area. She is awesome.
My mom never sits still. I do not have a single memory of her sitting somewhere, even in our living room, with her hands being idle. Whether its knitting, or making baskets, or spinning, or felting, or quilting, or sewing, or embroidering, etc. she is always making something. This made for a quite embarrassing childhood when we went to doctors offices or if she came to watch me play basketball games. (Yes, she cheered whilst knitting.) I perfected the my-mom-is-crazy-eye-roll when I was a teenager. But now, I'm over it. Now I think she's pretty amazing. I'm always surprised to see how many people are willing to talk to a complete stranger when they see what she's doing. It's usually something like, "How do you do that without looking?" or "My aunt can do that." of "Wow! You're so fast! I wish I could make something like that."
How cute is she in her garden?
My mom is great at having conversations with anyone, and knitting gives her a platform. She will tell people how the yarn she is knitting with comes from our sheep, which she bred, birthed, fed, nurtured, gave a hair cut, spun their wool on a spinning wheel, and now she is using that yarn to make something. She will show them the purse she made from wool that is felted and decorated from wool that has been dyed. Sometimes the conversation will lend itself to all the amazing things you can learn from the Bible because you understand what sheep are really like. She is an advocate for sheep, for the fiber arts, for making pieces of history with your hands, and equipping people to make their own history with the classes she teaches from her home. You can check out the amazingness on her website. Yesterday we were brainstorming about her Etsy site and the CSA she wants to start. (Consumer Supported Agriculture where people get perks every season- like felting kits, wool, yarn, and homemade Jersey fresh jam- for buying shares of the farm... I'll let you know when that's all set up.)
Also during our loooong wait for them to call our docket, I was addressing envelopes for the Lydia Pin orders I've gotten. We got there at 8:20 and by 9:18 all of the envelopes were addressed. Bummer. I was hoping it would keep me and my mind busy for longer. So then I started decorating the envelopes. Apologies if your envelope comes doodled on. I was bored and anxious. Sitting there with my mom, both our hands working on projects bigger than ourselves, I let my mind wander about advocacy. I was thinking that because of sheep and felting, it has enabled me to become and advocate for Lydia and the story of God's faithfulness in her life. I was excited that maybe these pins will equip others to be advocates too.
Finally our name was called and I walked into the court room and took a seat in the back part behind the partition that separates the important people from the non-important people. I so much want to be an advocate for Josiah, who can not have a voice among the "importants" of the room. His law guardian is his official advocate, and she is awful. She stands up and declares his good health and how he is meeting all of his developmental milestones. Useless information. Why can't she talk about what an amazing home he's in- how loved he is, how well taken-care of he is, how his foster parents are awesome and how they want to adopt him? How will the judge know if no one tells her?
I'm hoping that's what a psychologist will say when they give a report of the bonding evaluation that is coming up on August 4th and August 11th. There is also a trial set for October 4th if no suitable candidate is found for him and DYFS needs to remove custody from the parents instead of them relinquishing their rights to someone.
During entire day, I had a song playing in my head. (Take a minute and listen to it after you're done reading. Let the truth of it sink in. I pray you can claim this truth for yourself.) As frustrating as the situation is, God reminds me that I do have an advocate to speak for me. How easy it is to forget. I am so willing to take the situation in my own hands, to think that anything I will do or say will change the outcome of where Josiah's forever home will be. It is hard to relinquish feeling like I have anything to do with what will happen in the end. I have an Advocate who is doing everything I need to ensure that God's name is glorified and everything will happen for our good.
Jesus's work on the cross tells me that when I get to Heaven, He will be my advocate. On that final day of my life I do not have to worry about what will happen with my eternal life because when God looks at me, He will see Jesus. He will speak for me. Do you know what a relief that will be?!
Along with that, what happened to the temple veil tells me something that I forget often. I have access to God NOW. The price for that was so high. It cost a perfect, sinless man his life. At times I take that for granted. With an utterance, I am in the presence of God because of what Jesus did. He speaks to God for me. He can tell Him my thoughts, my dreams, and better yet, He can change those dreams to fit His will.
It has been a slow process, but I can see this happening. There are days when it is easy to do like today, when I realize I have absolutely no control over anything that I want to have control over. Foster care lets me be an advocate for the work God is doing in my life and the lives of those around me. More importantly, it teaches me that I only need to be faithful and let MY Advocate work His perfect will in my life....and Josiah's life.
No comments:
Post a Comment