The Latest

On Monday, there was an impromptu court hearing (I think it was to make up for the one that was postponed from when the electricity went out.)  Thank you, oh so diligent case worker for letting us know late Friday afternoon so we could make arrangements to be there.  *Insert sarcastic tone* I had somewhere I needed to be at 8 a.m. then I high-tailed it to Atlantic City to try to make court. I got there at 9:30.

And....  I missed it.

So there I sat waiting for my caseworker to come out of the court room so she could tell me what went on that morning.  She never came out, but the law guardian did and she sat down to talk with me in the waiting area.  (The law guardian is a lawyer who represents the kids- not the foster parents, or his parents, or his grand-parents.  They are supposed to be an impartial party that knows what is best for the children, although she has never once seen or met Josiah.  She calls me whenever there is about to be court so she can get all of her questions answered about him like his weight, what he eats, what his schedule is... so she can stand in front of the judge and pretend she knows what is going on with him.  I did tell her that the parents haven't been to visitation in 8 weeks- a fact I'm sure my caseworker is unaware of.)

So the law guardian apologizes that I missed the hearing despite the fact that she tried to delay the judge until I could get there.  She said she didn't have a cell phone number for me.  (unlikely...whatever...)  But the conversation I got to have with her was very beneficial, and I probably got more answers from her when talking to her than I would have gotten if I just would have made it to court on time.

The latest:

- We are allowed to cut his hair "every 3-4 months in a neat, conservative cut."  I wish I could have been there to experience the eye-rolling and scoffing and huffing that must have come from the parents when the judge ordered that poor Josiah doesn't have to look like no one cares about him anymore.

- The grandfather had told us that he was going to file for custody at court this Friday, and he is under the impression that he is going to be going home with him that day.  According to the law guardian, apparently the man is delusional or greatly misinformed by his lawyer.  What he is doing on Friday is filing for consent to become an active party in the case.  This would mean that his lawyer would receive all the information about the case and he would become a viable option for a permanent placement eventually.

- Before anything is decided, there needs to be a hearing- with experts, and witnesses, and reports, and evaluations, etc.  The judge isn't going to say, "Oh...hello, biological grandfather.  I hear it is convenient for you to take your grandson now.  How lovely for you!  Sure- go ahead and take custody!"  The law guardian said they are not going to be removing him from our home "any time soon."  I asked her how long the process could take.  "Atleast nine months," she says and then shakes her head, "Who am I kidding...more than likely it will be a year.... or more."  Since this is only going to be a consent to information, she said it was such a "formality" that we didn't have to come to court on Friday.

-  She says that DYFS is still on our side for us to be receiving permanent custody, but it's a hard call.  On the one hand he would be with his brother (who has more rights to seeing Josiah than anyone.)  There was just new court law that was passed in New Jersey that says that blood relatives have no leg-up when it comes to getting custody of children just because they are related.  However, siblings are tried to be kept together whenever possible.  And since the grandfather has Josiah's brother, this gives them a strong case.  But...after THREE years of him living with us?  Who knows what could happen?

- I called the case worker yesterday (she actually picked up the PHONE and I didn't have to call her 47 times before she answered a message!!!) and she said that she DID speak to the grandfather and said that DYFS said that he is only to go over every other weekend.  (I have no reason to believe that this conversation actually happened, although I'm hoping it did.)  I want the idea of "every other weekend" to come from them, not us.  I'm tired of the grandfather thinking it is us that is trying to keep him from him.  I asked her if she spoke to him about the issue of Christmas, which I asked her to do 3 weeks ago.  She hadn't, and said she would after Friday.

-  And then she said... "Oh by the way, I'm not going to be your worker anymore.  You're getting assigned a new worker tomorrow hopefully.  So...I'm not going to be in court on Friday."  So what you're REALLY saying is, "I wasn't going to bring up the ugly issue of Christmas because by tomorrow its not going to be my problem anymore." 


 I can't say I'm heartbroken that we're getting a new caseworker.

- Tomorrow is a bonding evaluation, and prayers are certainly appreciated.  The poor kid has 3 appointments:
12:00 with his great-aunt (which I'm not sure why she's even bothering at this point when her brother wants him now)
1:00 with his dad
2:00 with us
3:00 Josiah's brother with his grandparents

All during what should be nap time, of course.

I don't know why a bonding eval wasn't ordered for Josiah's grandparents and him... I guess when he becomes an "offical" option for custody, they will want another one.

I'm not so nervous about this one.  This is the psychologist from August who said, "I just need to rule out that any obscure relative that claims that he is magically bonded to them."  I'm a fan of this guy.  He sees the crazy in it all.

So there's the latest.  We're still praying that we can keep our little man for Christmas despite that weekend being the grandfather's "turn." And we're praying that DYFS will step up and make the every other weekend official so poor Justin doesn't have to get knots in his stomach every time the grandfather calls him...like at least twice a week now.

Thank you so much for praying for our family!