Bonding Evaluation #3

This was our third bonding evaluation:

- The first was ordered from the bio mother's lawyer.
- The second was ordered by DYFS.
- The third was ordered from the bio father's lawyer.

I can assume that once the grandfather files for custody, his lawyer will order one as well.

It wasn't the same psychologist that we had the first time.  It was a sweet old man that had probably been doing this kind of work for over forty years.  I had to have Josiah there at 12:00 to go with his great aunt.  Once he saw her, he started crying, and she snapped, "Why don't you put him down on the floor so he can see his brother."  I did as she asked, but I wanted to say, "Hey, fat fatty-head.  Leave him alone.  He obviously wants his mom to hold him."  Once he was on the floor, she scooped him up and lots of crocodile tears ensued, and Josiah was reaching over to me saying, "Hold you?! Hold you?! Hold you?!"

And then...this I love... the doctor came out and said, "Oh no, that's not good.  We don't have a very happy kid.  Will he come with you?" he asked the aunt.

"Oh- he will," she replied matter-of-factly.

I wanted to punch her in the stomach, but I was afraid my fist would get sucked into all her fat roles.  That was mean.  I'll probably feel bad about that later and change it.  eh.  maybe not.  

After that, it was the biological father's turn to go with him.  I can only imagine the mayhem that ensued because he had both Josiah and his brother, David, at the same time.  Those two together are like mini wrecking balls!  

Justin and I got back around 1:30 only to find that we weren't going until 2:30.  In between that time, David was going to be evaluated with his grandparents.  We took Josiah some fresh air and for a drive around to keep him mind distracted...and we didn't feel like sitting in the tiny waiting room with fatty-head.  Of course when we went for a walk to the car, Josiah was so tired and cranky that he tripped and met the sidewalk with his forehead and lip with a big thud.  Wonderful. "Hello, doctor man... we're here to show you what wonderfully responsible and protective parents we are. Please ignore the enormous welt on my child's head that wasn't there the last time you saw him an hour ago."


So- 2:30 and we go in with the doctor.  He asks us a few questions about Josiah's medical history and the visits with his parents have been going.  I was happy to report that they were spotty and inconsistent at best.  He asked us about our professions and education, and about the contact we had with Josiah's family.  (That was a long story, as you all know, which ended with us saying that if we do adopt him, that very strict parameters will need to be set as far as what roles everyone will have in his life.)  Josiah happily sat on my lap eating an orange and coloring his big coloring book.  I loved showing off how cute and comfortable he is with me.

The doctor said to us, "Some evaluations are easy and some are more challenging.  I can't tell you what my report says, but history speaks for itself in this case."  In other words:  He has been with you for almost two years, he knows no one else as "family," and despite the aunt's attempts to bond, she doesn't have the relationship that you have with him.   


The evaluation took about 40 minutes.  I left feeling very positive about the whole thing.  When we got home, Josiah took an hour and a half nap before dinner, and Molly was over-the-moon excited to see him.  It was an overwhelmingly exhausting day that ended with a relaxing bath time and sweet kisses and cuddles before bed.  It is nice to be a family.