In which I vent...again....

Another month, another visit from our caseworker.  I'll try be brief with the news.

The grandfather calls the caseworker to complain everytime we say no to a visit.

Here's how the call went last time.
           Grandfather:  "I'm off for four days this weekend.  Thursday through Monday.  Can he sleep over?"
           Justin:  "I would rather he not.  Monday would be the only day that would work for us.  We have    
                        plans for this weekend for Megan's birthday."
           Grandfather:  *grumble*grumble*grumble* You're trying to keep him from me! grumble*grumble*


He ended up having to work everything but the weekend, so we did end up letting him go on Saturday, so sadly our plans had to change, but whatever...atleast he didn't sleep over.  There are a few reasons we don't want him to.

1- He doesn't have a crib at his house.  Most likely he would end up sleeping at the great aunt's house, which isn't licensed.  
2- He doesn't sleep well when he isn't at home, which wouldn't be too much of a problem for them, but for us who then has to deal with a cranky toddler for the next few days, it is.
3- That's just one foot in the door for him staying permanently, and although that might me coming, we want to create as much routine and normalcy as possible for our little man.
4- We give them an inch, and they think they're entitled to more.  What next?  They get him EVERY weekend?  I don't think so.

But...the caseworker says that they can take us to court and get overnights, or we can give it to them.  I really don't want to go where we did last time where things get ugly, so we're setting a schedule now where he will sleep over once every other week.

But the bad news... if we start this week, which he wants to, that would put him not being here for Christmas.

I am NOT okay with that.

Last time I checked, we're not a babysitting service who is going to watch your kid for you when its not convenient for you to take him.  We are a FAMILY and are trying to conduct our lives as such.  I am frustrated.  I am annoyed.  I am angry that they care more about playing house than they do about the well being of their grandson.  *erg*

AND...

The grandfather has hired a private lawyer and is planning on filing a motion to have custody on the next court date:  December 10th.  The case worker says that DYFS wants to appeal, but that doesn't mean that the judge will agree.  One of two things could happen:

1- The judge will grant the motion and Josiah will be removed from our home in 72 hours or worse- make plans for him to start visiting weekends...then more...then more....until slowly he is dwindled from our lives.  
2- The motion will be denied and the grandfather will file again until he gets what he wants.

I don't know how to ask you to pray.  I want to say I want God to intervene here.  I want us to keep him.  I can't imagine our lives without this little boy.  But, at the same time, I look at what our lives will be like with him- the thousands of awkward conversations with the grandfather begging us to get time with him, and us wanting to keep him for ourselves.  I would like to say we would share nice, but I honestly I wouldn't want to.  I don't want him to live like a kid with divorced parents:  their house this holiday, ours the next, etc.  I think it's great so many people love him, but I'm not a fan of putting him in the presence of a dysfunctional family if I can help it.  Am I mean?  Probably.

But as always, I remind myself that the decision will not be mine.  All of the families I know who have foster babies and have had this judge- things have not bode well for them.  The judge favors reunification, despite the amount of time children have been in foster homes, and despite what bonding evaluations say.  I can't help but brace myself once again for heartache.  Who knows if we will even need to have a conversation with the grandfather about keeping our little boy for Christmas?

Prayers, please.

Thank you.