Another week. Another visit. Pretty soon I'm going to stop complaining about them, but not today. Today was torture. I have never seen Josiah hate anyone like he hates his aunt. He cries when he sees her, and not just cries- wails. Snot covered, gasping for breath, tear-streamed beet-red face. For an hour. I was upstairs putting clothes away trying to close every drawer and closet as quiet as I possibly could so my little boy would forget I was there. I know I'm over-reacting, but this was all I could relate my experience to:
Yeah, I know I'm being dramatic, but it felt like the sound of ultimate
suffering. It felt like my heart was being ripped in two. I just wanted my little boy probably just as much as he wanted me. Maybe more. Just when I thought the sound couldn't get any worse it did.
The crying stopped.
He started playing.
He was okay without me.
It was the worst sound in the world.
We both decided that visiting in my home was not the best idea and are going to schedule weekly visits in the DYFS office now. I don't like seeing him drive away, but I think the incessant crying, or not crying, is worse.
No comments:
Post a Comment