Daffodils in the yard, just like the ones I picked and put on the table the day you came home.
The card in the mail from JCPenny reminding me to schedule your birthday photo shoot. (Even though I told them LAST YEAR to take you off of their mailing list.)
The amazing moon.
The chilly air turning into warm gusts that beckon spring and new life.
And our fine arts competition at school. Sitting in a room watching judges painstakingly score art projects, just like the day your daddy came through that door, wide eyed, fast talking, phone in hand. "Girl or boy?! Girl or boy?!" I remember rambling and my heart swelling and hearing the answer... "Boy!"
It was that word and that moment that changed me into a mommy. I wouldn't trade that sweet memory for anything in the world, except maybe for still having you with us.
I've debated for weeks now if I should send you a card. A present. Something to let you know I remember you, I love you, I miss you. But, my heart can't take the thought that it would possibly get torn or discarded and never reach you. So instead I just come to my safe place here and beckon as loud as I can with typed words.
Today I am celebrating your birth.
Today I am celebrating your life.
Today I am celebrating that you are here, even though you're not with me.
Tonight I'll find the moon and feel my heart still tied to yours, and pray your life is celebrated as much as it possibly can be by everyone that loves you.
Happy Birthday, Josiah.
2 comments:
Happy birthday, sweet Josiah! Our family is praying for you today....that you'd know that you are so loved by so many (and especially Jesus)! And we're praying for your first Mommy, Daddy, and sister today....for peace and joy in the midst of losing you. We miss you!!!!
Thinking of you Megan. Lots of love. 00000000
Karen Smith
Joel's mommy
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