Psalm Twenty-Six: Heart and Mind and Feet

"Vindicate me, O LORD, for I have lead a blameless life.  

I have trusted in the LORD without wavering.  

Test me and try me, 

examine my heart and my mind; 

for your love is ever before me, 

and I walk continually in your truth." v. 1-3

Dear God,
It is one thing to lead a blameless life- to walk worthy of your calling and do all of the external actions that show that I love you.  However, the psalmist doesn't ask You to test his outward appearance.  He asks You to test his heart (emotions) and his mind (his thoughts.)  It is this inward struggle that is so much more difficult than simply "doing" what is right.  But the psalm offers the solution to both of these things,  1- God can guide our hearts into feeling the right way when we are focused on how He loves us.  2- We will think rightly when we are continually in His truth daily.

The illustration (forgive me- I was in a pregnant-tired and newborn-baby-in-the-house-tired when I drew this.  I'm warning you now...the quality is going to go down for the next few.)  shows a man focused on the sacrifice of Christ.  His heart and mind have aligned his directional charge.  (If I drew this again, the feet would have been pointed the same way, like he's walking.  He looks a little tired and dizzy and confused here- like I was at the time.) ... but you get the point- hopefully.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately.  Emotions.  Why is it so difficult to put what I know to be true  into practice?  Why do I let the way I feel about a situation dictate my attitude? I always thought as long as I'm doing what I know God wants me to do, I'm covered.  He's happy.  Granted, I may not always have the best attitude while I'm doing it, but atleast I'm doing it, right?

If you've been reading for a while, you know I'm speaking about visitation.  Brenda.  She is my Nineveh.  I go through the actions because I know God wants me to.  I know that anthing I do or don't do isn't going to ultimately change who gets to be the parents in Josiah's forever home.  I know that God is in control of his life.  I know that this is the path God wants me on despite my constant whining.  So why, every week, do I still feel swallowed up and spit out? I feel absolutely awful the day before, the day of, and the day after she comes to my house to play with Josiah.  I am drained of all energy.  Stripped of all sanity.  Robbed of joy.  Laden with guilt that I should be happy that his great-aunt loves him so much.    

I know why.  It's because my head and my heart are telling my feet to go in different directions.  And I'm dizzy.

 Scripture tells me that God can change the way I think.

Romans 12:2
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.


I always thought that our intellectual selves belong to God. I, then, made the assumption, that my if my mind belongs to God, emotions belong to me.  Emotions are the human reaction of the spiritual experience of God changing the way that I think.  That's one thing I love about Psalms.  The psalmist's emotions are real.  He tells God what he thinks about the world around him.  But he is also quick to tell God the truth about Himself, and then (this is really cool) knowing the truth not only changes the way he thinks....it changes the way he feels.  

The God I serve is not just Lord over my mind; He can be Lord over my heart too.  And when I let Him transform my thinking to line up with Scripture, I can then truly yield all of me- emotions included- to His good, pleasing, and perfect will.     

Ready, head?  check.  Ready, heart? check. Ok, feet...NOW you can start moving forward.  And if you forget your motivation, just look at the cross, and let Jesus' love for you inspire you to love others the way He does.    


"Vindicate me, O LORD, for I have lead a blameless life.  I have trusted in the LORD without wavering.  Test me and try me, examine my heart and my mind; for your love is ever before me, and I walk continually in your truth."