Paris: Part 3

Finding my way in Paris as a teacher....

When it comes to learning new things, I have this unnatural obsession to share it....like I think everyone should find something as interesting as I do.  For instance:  art history.  It. is. fascinating.  Don't argue with me.  History:  dates, facts, figures, names= boring.  Art History:  People and places that talented people took the time to capture in a sculpture or on a canvas= awesome.  I mean, a picture tells so many stories....the story about how it was made, the story of the artist who made it, and the story of the subject matter.  For instance...  this is a painting of a Madonna and Child by Fra Filipo Lippi, an artist and monk.  (Say that name 10x's fast...isn't it fun?!?!)

It may look like just another Renaissance painting of Mary and Jesus, but did you know that this is also a portrait of a nun....and the angel is a portrait of the artist and nun's son?!?!?  *gasp*  scandalous!  Now don't you feel cooler for knowing a little art history!?!? Next time you go to the Uffizi Gallery in Florence, you can tell this little juicy tidbit to someone who is looking at this painting and totally rock their world.  

See?  I have no edit button when it comes to sharing things I think are fun.  That may have something to do with why I like to blog too- because I think people care about what I am learning.  

There is no greater motivation for learning than when I have to teach someone else what I know.  Teaching helps me know more things, and in the context of this post, it helps me to learn more about God.  I could tell you how being an actual "teacher" in a Christian school to teenagers helps me do this, but I'll save that for another time.       

My 20-month old little parrot, Molly, loves to repeat anything I say.  And so begins our journey together of her as student and me as teacher, although most of the time, I feel like our roles are reversed.  In my weekly Bible study with some awesome ladies, we were talking about our responsibility to teach our children about God.  I felt compelled to take this challenge seriously and start talking to Molly about God throughout our day.  I feel like He gives me so many opportunities to do this as we interact with eachother.  Here are a few of the things she knows so far....

God is Creator:  

Me:  Molly, who make the flowers?

Molly: God flowers!  

Who made the birds?

God birds!  

(this gets to be pretty funny when we ask her who made stinkies).

God is Good:  

Me:  God is 

Molly: good

All the 

Time.

All the 

Time 

God is

Bubbles?  Bubbles?

No Molly, tell me all the time, God is...???

I find it?...bubbles?

No Molly, all the time God is....???

Good.  Ok...bubbles? I find it? I walk?  I find it?    

(she needs a little bit of re-focusing most times, but she gets it eventually).

God is protector:  

Lately, she's had this new practice of telling me when she is scared...like when a loud truck goes by, or something falls and makes a loud noise.  She runs over to me, wide-eyed, and grasps onto me for dear life.  

"Scay-wee!" she says.  

I ask, "Molly, what do we do when we're scared?

"Pray." she says.  We fold our hands and she squints her eyes and crinkles her nose. 

"Dear...

God

please help me not to be

scay-wurd.

A...

men!"

(and then she's off and playing again.)  

I know that she's only learning to copy what I say.  But I feel that as her mom, I have the awesome privilege of speaking truths into her head.  One day, I pray that the Holy Spirit will speak these truths to her heart, and she'll know that the things that I've taught her about God, her Creator,  the God who is Good, and the God who protects her--- are really true.  

As much as I teach her, I feel like she teaches me more.  In the times when I ask myself if God is really good, or if He knows what's best for me, or if He really knows me, I hear her little voice in my head repeat these words of truth back to me.  (And now is a time I really need these truths spoken to me...I'll have to write a little more on that later.)  

So as I learn about God, I teach.  And as I teach, I learn. What a strange and wonderful reciprocal little journey Miss Molly and I are on together! 

God has most definitely used this role as teacher to meet me where I am and direct me towards Himself.      

  

Paris: Part 2

Finding my way through Paris as a student....

(Yes, I know this really has nothing to do with actually going to Paris, but I imagine that being lost in a foreign country, not being able to read signs or speak the language is much like trying to navigate through life without knowing the true character of God.)  

I love to learn, and when I'm not being stubborn or lazy, I really do like to read my Bible.  It is so fun to read and let the Holy Spirit let certain words leap off the pages of text that is thousands of years old and let it speak to my heart, as if it was written only for me.

Lately, I've been reading this devotional book that I highly recommend.  

In the book, the author discusses the names of God that were used in the Old Testament like El Shadday, Elohim, Adonay, Abba, El Elyon---God Almighty, Mighty Creator, Lord, Father, God Most High.  These are names of God that speak of His character- of who He is, and then in turn, tell me who I am because of Him.  When I pray now, these are the places where I know He can be found, because these truths are grounded in Scripture, not my own opinion.  

There are other books, too that I am enjoying, like the books I have been reading for my women's Bible study.  I have an amazing group of women that I meet with every Thursday night.  It is such a wonderful time of refreshment and encouragement.  Plus, being involved in a small group setting and going through a book together adds a sense of accountability to make sure I do my "homework."  I need this.  I tend to push life's busy to-do list to the fore-front and leave my Bible dusty in the process.  So having sisters in Christ who are willing to lift up one another in prayer and come along side each other to study God's Word is so helpful for me to be the student of the Word that I know I should be.  

AMAZING workbook on the book of Ruth 

Great workbook for a study of Ephesians

Our newest study that I can't wait to start

I think for me, being a good student means not only being a reader of truth, but a listener.  I love Christian music, and I'm a big fan of iTunes' Christian radio stations and Pandora.com. (On my Pandora, I like to listen to a lot of hymns and Chris Rice and Nichole Nordeman).  What a difference it makes in my day when I am continually feeding truth to my heart!  

Also, my pastor is an amazing preacher.  I mean C-R-A-Z-Y good.  He preaches in verse-by-verse style so it's easy to get a broad look of Scripture in the way it was written.  I love listening to his sermons when I have to cook or do dishes.     

It comes down to this: I can't find God if I don't know Him.  And how will I know Him if I am not searching for Him?  Being a student doesn't come naturally to me, so I need tools to help.      

What helps you be a good student of the Word?   

Paris: Part 1

I was blessed to be able to attend a Christian college and to study art.  During my senior year, I took "Contemporary Art and Criticism," and to be honest it was one of my least favorite art history classes. It was a class in which we had to study "what is art?," "who defines what art is?," and "oh..look at this lovely paint splatter...isn't it so profound?" taught by a don't-just-paint-what-you-see...paint-what-you-feel wack-a-doo  professor.  There was one story, however, that I remember him telling during one of his many rabbit-trail lectures that still resonates with me.  I don't remember the topic of the conversation, what painting we happened to be looking at, or even what his point really was, but I remember thinking that out of all the chapels and sermons and Bible lectures I sat through during my college years, this was a life-changing and refreshing perspective on God that I never heard before.      

"When I go to Paris," he said, "I go to all of the most familiar places first- the ones that I know well and can find easily on foot....my favorite little bakery that has the most delectable buttery croissants, a little cafe in a back alley that makes espresso I love, the market that has the most delicious cheeses and fresh lunchmeat.  I go to all of those places and gather what I want.  Then I can really enjoy the city and look around because I have my bearings and my hunger is satisfied.        
"I do the same thing when I pray.  I cling to the character of God that is familiar and I know best, a place in my heart and mind where He can easily be found.  Sometimes He is Father, sometimes He is Friend, Confidant, or Healer.  When I find Him, the part of me that longs to be near Him is satisfied. We can enjoy our time together, and He can then reveal more of Himself to me."

(I just love the way artsy people think!)

There was a time in my life when God was easy to be found.  In my mind, the truth that I clung to above all else was this:  If I am obedient, and good, and serve Him, and love Him, then He will give me what I ask for.  I had invested many-a-good-works, and time and energy into this philosophy.  It was a comfortable place to sit down and commune with God over cups of tea as we discussed the plans I had for my life.  Then, as you know, God shook me to my very core by taking away the very thing I asked Him for again and again and again and again.  Child after child that I had prayed for was taken away, and all of a sudden this God that I thought I knew could not be found.  No buttery croissants or cheeses for me.

In the midst of pain for what I had been taken away from me, I didn't realize what a gift it was to be lost, confused, and hungry.  What an amazing experience it is for God to take me to a place where I did not recognize Him!  It is there that I have found the True God of the Bible.  It is the only place He could call me to know Him- to really know Him.  And just very recently, I feel like I can say that.  I know I only found Him because He was searching for me.  And in His graciousness and mercy, He was able to meet me where I was, as who as was.

It was His gift to me to allow me to be lost.  It was the only way that He could be found.

I think the best place to start when I can not find Him, is worship; a sacrifice of praise when I do not feel like praising Him.  For me, worship isn't singing, sitting over Scriptures and mulling over it for hours, or even spending time listening to sermon after sermon searching for truth (although all of these are good things).  I think true worship, for anyone, is doing something that causes us to come to a place where "He is God and we are not."  For me, it is in these three areas:  as student, as teacher, and as artist.  In the next few posts, I want to write about how He has met me and how I have met Him while I am being who He has called me to be.

So I'll leave you with a "To be continued...." and a few questions to mull over.  I'd love to hear your answers...

What characters of God do you cling to when you feel like you are lost?
What is your "spiritual act of worship" that causes you see Him the most clearly?

Three Months

This past Thursday, three months have passed since Josiah went to live with his grandparents.  As memories start to fade, I am beginning to find my new "normal" as being mommy of one and one-in-waiting.  I start my day with waking up to babbling coming from Molly's crib.  "Star....up so high....diamond sky..."  I smile and think how blessed I am.  It's been a few days since I've thought about what Josiah might be saying early in the morning.  I wonder if he's talking more than she is.  Probably not.  I can't imagine he also knows all the members of the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, characters from Phineas and Ferb, all 8 colors in a pack of crayolas, and how to count to 12 by himself.

I find myself thinking less and less about what I am missing, and focusing more and more on what I've gained.  How precious and sacred this time with Molly has been!  How clearly I've seen God reveal Himself to me in times of sorrow and self-pity and brokenness!  It comes in spurts, in little truths I see around me.  In little blessings like tickling toes and when Molly reminds me to pray before we eat, or how she thanks God for "Daisy, and Candace, and Captain Hook" before bed.
(Do I let her watch too much T.V.?  Ok- maybe.)

These are all little moments I might be missing if Josiah were here.  Could it be that what I thought was a blatant disruption in God's plan for my life was actually His mercy?  His kindness?  His compassion?  His love for me? His plan so I could share Him with others?  His gift of time to enjoy Molly the way I always should have?

I thank God for things He saved me from that I can not see.

And I thank God for the things that He saved me for that I let myself imagine from time to time.

 

Four One-Month-Old Babies

This is the third time that I have visited my sister Robin and her husband Jason in Massachusetts since they moved there for Jason to attend seminary.  And each time, for some reason, there has always been a one month old baby with us.

The first time was when Justin's brother was married in Boston, and we got to stay with my sister.

Josiah was one month old.  I was five months pregnant with Molly.  I remember sitting in church while holding Josiah praying that we could keep him.  I remember thinking that this was the first church service that Molly could hear when she was inside of me.  And I remember praying that Josiah would be able to hear the same words spoken to him that were spoken to us during the service, about God's grace and the hope of Heaven.

The second time we visited Robin was when Molly was one month old and Josiah was six months old.  I remember Josiah sat up for the first time by himself when we were in her apartment.  I remember Molly crying and being such a fussy baby and Robin bouncing her.

And I remember on our way home, stopping to meet one month old Lydia for the first time and being thankful for the hope of Heaven.  

And this past visit was the third and last time we will be going to Massachusetts to see them. (Jason is graduating in May and they are moving soon).  I'll will always remember meeting my one month old nephew, Judah, for the first time.

I'll remember missing Josiah and Lydia, thinking they were here the last time we were.  I'll remember sitting in church on Easter morning, seven months pregnant with our baby girl, and being thankful for the hope of Heaven, and praying that all the children I've been blessed to meet will know this hope one day because my Savior lives.

Easter 2011

I've decided that the best thing in the entire world is watching people I love love people I love.  And such is the summary of this weekend.

Molly and Justin and I packed up the minivan and, along with my mom, headed to Massachusetts for an extended weekend to meet Molly's 4-week-old cousin, Judah.  She was a fan.

                                                  

But really, how can you not be?!?! Look at this little cutie!

(My mom makes the funniest faces when she's with babies.  These are the photos she probably wouldn't be too upset with me if I posted.)

There was lots of playing and cooking and Disney movies and felting and church and family time and lots of golf for the boys, and of course,  Easter-time fun!  

I think my favorite memory of the weekend was listening to Molly read to "Baby Jewah."

It was so fun watching my sister be a little Mommy.  :o)  What an adorable little family I have!  

And the cherry on top of the roadtrip....visiting this girl on the way home!  

(this is actually an old picture...I was way too excited to remember to bring my camera into her house.) 

What a refreshing and fun weekend...I really needed it!  

You are Good